HOPE

silence

sometimes it better to just be silence
rather starting a nonsense gossip
and creating multiple problems and fighting

but certain things need to be spoken out
the important things
so that you avoid misunderstanding

how about if the situation of
someone trying to talk
but being ignored

this makes people to be more silence
and silence
and silence

and stop
talking
anymore
as
it
hurt
more
if
you
talk
....


though-this-face-is-expressionless-but-she-actually-have-a-feeling-and-heart

p/s:
a loaded and multiple emotions before entering the storm and tsunami-like place in few days
Allah knows InsyaAllah
need to be strong
hormone unstable with anxiety day

(source picture: brotherhood arts)

reviewing and start moving

suddenly remember when i'm looking into a box full of my previous self (diary, gifts and letters),
that another half of my memories is in here : this 'itsmylife-yuzuki chan' blog

looking back into my previous self and post,
i see that i do change.
things that i may think i wouldnt be
and now i'm like someone different
different in thought, character and view

i do miss my previous self
and i hope i do change for better
again..

writing is one of my passion since childhood
i do have a dreams to be a writer or someone in art line
never in my dreams to be in professional job
but InsyaAllah what i have now is something that He has choose for the best

and InsyaAllah I will move on for the best
eventhough i dont know what will come approach me

hopefully I can sail through this tough 2 years without fail..
and can get up again after fall and hurt

i'm gonna be a survivor InsyaAllah

visiting this old buddy here

it have been almost one year this blog was not posted anything..

a busy year might be..

but also because i'm not getting wifi here..

end of year 4 semester..

another 1 year to go..

and the hardest year i think..

need to do more hard work for the brain..

"why do better if u can do the best" quote from ortho doctor

haze is getting better..

can see the blue sky again..

Alhamdulillah..

i miss seeing the sky lately and the fresh air..

nikmat yg selalunya kita ambil mudah..

but bila kena tarik..

baru rasa kehilangannya..

need to be more appreciate on everything around us..

and maybe peringatan that this mother nature is getting older and older..

until one day she ends her life..

moga kita semua termasuk dalam golongan orang beriman at that time..

InsyaAllah..

so soon..

Every time I close my eyes, 

I see you in front of me,

I still can hear your voice calling out my name,

and I remember all the stories you told me,

I miss the time you were around,

I miss the time you were around,

But I'm so grateful for every moment I spent with you,

cause I know life won't last forever..

You went so soon, so soon,

You left so soon, so soon,

I have to move on cause I know it's been too long,

I've got to stop the tears, keep my faith and be strong,

I'll try to take it all,

even though it's so hard,

I see you in my dreams but when I wake up you are gone,

Gone so soon..  

Night and day,

I still feel you are close to me,

And I remember you in every prayer that I make,

every single day  may you be shaded by His mercy,

but life is not the same,

and it will never be the same,

but I'm so thankful for every memory I shared with you,

cause I know this life is not forever..

there were days when I had no strength to go on,

I felt so weak and I just couldn't help asking why,

but I got through all the pain when I truly accepted,

that to God we all belong, 

and to Him we'll return..

(so soon- maher zain)

p/s: "I have to move on cause I know it's been too long,

       I've got to stop the tears, keep my faith and be strong,

       I'll try to take it all,

       even though it's so hard"

i like that part :)

reaching age :)

looking back again,

for the years before,

through out this life,

have i did what i should.

have i changed?

if it was,

is it good?

is it bad?

does my soul content,

with the blessed given,

does it loss the important key,

for living.

have i filled the soul,

with the light,

or is it full with sin.

today my age was added up,

have i added the knowledge,

to be used to help others,

and to makes this life more loving.

may Allah blessed this life,

and do not let me becomes astray.

p/s: so happy with the wishes coming from friends.

Alhamdulillah.

now, i'm reached to the older age group..haha :D

 

let's RISE.

be TRUE to yourself.
have you really got the answer about your LIFE?


have a clear cut on your vision and mission in your LIFE.
and use tools that you have to reach it.

be the best ummat islam and use your knowledge on medicine to reach it.
do not confuse between your vision and tools.


everyone have a potential that you doesn't tap onto it yet,
or being suppressed due to FEAR of other things.

let's RISE.
let's REALIZE.
let's be THE BEST UMMAH that Rasulullah S.A.W had left to us.

UMMAT ISLAM is the best ummah.
BE ONE OF IT.
InsyaAllah, Allah will help :)

a missing

it was missing.

missed from it place.

missed from where it supposed to.

from my heart.

that spirit.

that confidence.

buried down inside.

unknowingly it was lost.

suddenly.

i'm not sure

am i able to dig it back.

and find it.

and treasure it

before it lost again.

forever.

tired

tired.

exhausted.

I need Allah.

to guide me the right way.

and stop loving this dunya too much.

picture source:brotherhood arts

let your faith be bigger than your fears

i'm still stand there,
at the same spot,
thinking should i move forward or not,
what would happen there,
if i'm making a move.


the chance,
to grab,
together with the risk,
am I brave enough to take it.


and without realize,
the time had becoming shorter,
to make a decision,
or else it will gone,
forever.

but I saw everyone had start moving,
leaving me,
will i be here forever alone,
asking myself,
which one was prefer to,
is it to take the risk,
or to be leaving.

move forward is the best decision i guess.


when you have Allah, you have everything.
without Allah, you have nothing.


Allah,please show me your guidance.
in whatever things i do,
you know what best for me.

picture from: brotherhood arts

understanding is a process for you to reach something.

semalam, masa case discussion of a patient, doctor ada tegur kami semua sebab kami selalu memorize things..

"don't memorize, but understand the process.

how the patient can get the symptoms,

how the pathogenesis of a disease,

it always a process..

so, when you guys understand and relate it with the disease, then you can remember better"

understanding is an important thing in our LIFE.

why?

let's relate it in our LIFE.

understand is a process for us to clears the vision,

and reach our target.

when people understand why they live,

for whom they live,

who are they belong for,

what they should do in life.

InsyaAllah, they can face any difficulties,

and they can reach their goals.

"Maka apakah kamu mengira bahawa Kami menciptakan kamu main-main(tanpa ada maksud) dan bahawa kamu tidak akan dikembalikan kepada Kami?maka Mahatinggi Allah, Raja yang sebenarnya; tidak ada tuhan yang berhak disembah selain Dia, Tuhan yang memiliki 'Arasy yang mulia."[surah Al-Mu'minun, 115-116] 

jom kita revise diri kita.
sudah faham kah diri kita tentang islam yang sebenarnya :)

because this is not the end..

smile.

it's gonna be good

at the end.

and if it's not good,

that will not be the end.

live your LIFE

put hopes to Allah.

He's listen.

believed in Allah.

see it with your heart..

things that you've seen, may not be the things you see..
things that you can't see, maybe the things you're not able to see behind it..

how do you see things in your life?
how do your view reflects the objects?

we learn it in physics,
that when the light strikes an object,
it will form an image and that image will be reflects in our cornea,
thus that views will come to our brain and the brain interprets it as a view.

if there is damage on our nervous system from the eyes through the optic nerve,
or if there is any lesion on the brain that involves in interpreting the image,
that's when the medical doctors says you can't see properly..
that's what involves the nervous system and the brain..

what about the heart?
how does the heart involves in our view?

"that's doesn't correlate .."
(most of those who learnt in science and anatomy may says that)

the brain was able to interprets things, mostly a logical thinking..
and mostly it can only see things that have a surface view..
while the heart was able to feel the sensation,
and that's how it can see from the deep view..

let says,
in a tragedy where the house was burnt, and the mother was safe and at outside of the house..
then suddenly she remembered that her small child was inside the house,
most mother will come run back inside the burning house,
trying to save her child..
doesn't she knows that the house was burning and dangerous to her?
she knows it..
but because the love for her child,
she's trying to save her child.

the brain was interpreted "hey, it dangerous, don't come back to the house"
while the heart says " my child was in there, i must save him"..
and usually human tends to do what the heart tells..
the heart was able to give you a surge of energy flowing through you unconsciously to do the things that looks impossible.

that's how important our heart was..

so, how do we view our things by the heart?
you, yourself knows it already..
it's already there inside your body..

how do we views, how do we action..
mostly was instructed by our heart..

that's why it was so important for us to cleanse our heart,
so that we will able to see things properly
and the truth views of The Greatness of Allah..
may we able to see it..
InsyaAllah..

everything was here..
takes time to ponder..
takes a view by yourself..
everything around you..
the skies, the trees, the earth, the wind..
and the component inside your body..

may you see the important things in your LIFE

'views from my room in Sg. buloh'

Subhanallah :)

i won't give up :)

expression-less

if only i can express myself well,
things will not be too hard, eh?
doshite?

this expression-less face can sometime be useful,
but sometimes it can cause more misunderstanding for others.
how to have more expression?
do i need to learn it from the anime?
=_=

random thought tonight before a new posting begin tomorrow..
here comes the child world in the paediatric posting..
but, the examination is still hard like the others..
it always give me a post-traumatic and cardiac shock.

this is me after the examination

epilogue of prologue

all those who play on the field will have tasted defeat,

there's no player in this world who had not lost before,

however,

the BEST player will give everything he's got to stand up again,

the ORDINARY players take a while to get back on their feet,

while LOSER will remain flat on the field.

-Darrel Royal,former American footballplayer and coach-

(taken from Eye Shield 21 manga)

today was not one of my best, but still the experience teach me the best.

be strong, start running forward yuzuki. 

don't get trap inside it

your past, presence and future.
that is the period of time which all of us will be experience.
it also will be a period of time that people may trap inside it.

your past.
people may experience at least one big sad memories from their past which give them scar till now.
some of them may not be able to break and past over their past and being haunted by it till now.
but some may be able to.
those scary, sadness and hatred past,
when we keep thinking about it, we will go no where.
it will only makes people to be more weak.
thus, the first thing to do is let it pass and be forgiving to those that give you that scar.
forgive them is the best solution and you will realize that to hate someone is very exhausting thing to do.
said to yourself every night before you are going to sleep, "i forgive all those people who makes me sad, angry and miserable today and may Allah bless all of us".
if we had lost something or someone that was so precious to us, don't forget to pray " may Allah give me a better thing than this lost".
InsyaAllah.

your presence.
everyday we keep on experienced more and more things to be done, to be responsible to, to be more mature in our action and others.
in some point of time, we will get tired of this and just to get over with it we do other thing that we think may help us to forget the burden, but at the end bring us to have more problem.
some time, when we have a problem, we think that, "oh, my life is over", "i shouldn't do this and that", "now i just felt to sleep forever" (eh, is it exaggerated? =.=)
but we forgot that, before we experience this problem, we've experienced other problem that we once said the same thing like we said now.
and we forgot Allah is the one that help us solves the problem when we felt like "this is the end".
so, when you felt those feeling of hopeless, helpless, useless (and other less) remember, you still have Allah, the One that who still with you all the time.

your future.
everyone had dreams ( i guess at least a dream of to not get fat, though i eat a lot  )
sometime, we always afraid of the future.
we afraid if we cannot achieve our goal,
afraid of the result,
afraid of those doctors (is this consider?)
afraid of tomorrow.
but remember who is the one that hold our tomorrow?
it is Allah.
we may be say, " i will certain to do those things tomorrow", but we forget to say "InsyaAllah".
so, put our hope and trust  to Allah, to give us chance to improve our self and cleanse our sins.

so, our past, presence and future had been made by Allah.
to let it be in a good or bad way it's our choice.
don't get trap inside of only certain period of time and not moving anywhere.

use our past to help us be more matured in our action,
use our presence to use it wisely and to improve ourselves everyday,
use our future to hope that Allah will give us the best and chance to cleanse our sins.
InsyaAllah..

back to where you belong.

what is the hardest journey in your life?

is it the journey during your childhood..

or during teenager, which most of us start to find the meaning of this life.

or during the adult, with maybe a busy life you'll have and a lot of responsibilities.

guess what?
i think it was during the time we came into this world.

during the child birth.


it was the hardest journey i've seen..

it was a climax period where it involves the mother and the child's lives..
and if there is a small complication it can affect both lives..
the diameter of mother's pelvic should be wide enough for the baby to delivered.

when i see the mother was struggled to give birth to their children,
it was so unbearable to see.
on how they need to wait in about 8 hours before the birth canal is open for the baby to delivered..
and the hardest part is when the head of the baby need to be delivered..
as the head is the largest and hardest part in the delivery process, it need to get move out first..
and that is when the mother really struggle to push the baby out..

Subhanallah, by just watching how the process of delivery in the labour room will make you see the Greatness of Allah..

how the small creature was born from the mother..
and then being so an amazing creature Allah has made..
the human..


after all the struggling and crying in pain, the mother can still smile after see her baby..
Subhanallah..

how tough all the mother are..
that's why we need to always remember our mom and never make they sad..

so, have you called your mom today and ask how they feel?
are they healthy?
are they happy?
if not, try to make they happy..
if they are no longer here, pray for them..

in this break of time

it was a long time for my break..
from my previous post of course..

i'm back..
and the exam semester also comes together..
yeah, we're like a true companion..
wherever i am, there it was..
so sweet,
isn't it?

this semester was going to end..
i can say that it was a short period of time..
as i think i just complained on my friend not so long before,
on why did my semester start first..
and now it have come to end..

in this period of time,
i'm deal and communicate a lot with new people
and it was very interesting

though actually, it was not a new people..
as they are always in my surrounding,
but we're not that close,
so i can say it was new people for me as i just knowing their presence..
hehe..
sorry for those people..

this clinical year was tough than before.
i can say that, it need more stronger heart than knowledge..
hmm,
how to put it in words..
the knowledge can be gain in everywhere,same goes like in pre-clinical years..
but in clinical years,
you face the doctors, specialist, patient, community who expect you to know everything(though you are not actually)
so, the things like get mad by the specialist,
get ignored by the nurses and patients,
the harsh words thrown to you,
and the trauma after the long case examination are common.
of course the students experienced that at least once..
(kalau ada sesape yang xpernah rasa situasi itu, itu sangatlah WOW)

but actually everything pun depends on yourself..
to stand up back after all the bad situation comes to you..
to increase their effort and comes again with a high spirit.
that's why i'm saying you need to have a stronger heart to face all this situation..
nothing comes easy,man.
and ''no one can make you feel inferior without your consent''.

InsyaAllah, if what we do are all because for the purpose of Allah,
things are getting easier..
kena marah dengan doctor pun boleh senyum lagi..
kena reject dengan patient pun boleh datang lagi borak dengan patient.
( ke saya ni memang x de perasaan malu)
=.=

after all what happen,
it was a good experience..
not just because to be good in this work.
but also as a human being..
it helps to get me more stronger than before..
and remember that at the time i am hopeless,helpless, and no one can help me,
Allah always there for you..
InsyaAllah..


p/s:
yesterday i just got phone called from my patient's son,
saying my patient have no longer here..
Innalillahi wainnalillahiraji'un..

i was speechless at that time..
this is my first time facing this..
i mean, my first patient that i'm facing the situation like this..
and i remember how she was so active and very warm to us welcoming to her house.
her smile, it was very warm.
semoga rohnya dicucuri rahmat..
Al-Fatihah..